Man, just felt a rush of emotions all at once.

I decided to check up on my fantasy basketball team before heading out of the office, so I logged on to the Yahoo! Sports website, where the front page had in big, bold letters a headline that reported that Sasha Cohen stumbled during her routine tonight and settled for the silver medal.

The shock of seeing the report caused me to sit up, which in turn caused me to bite my bottom lip.

Oh, the agony. "Man, she didn't win the gold?" I thought.

My lip was in pain, too. I'd also spent the entire day at work avoiding news websites so I could watch the Olympics tonight with suspense intact.

Yes, I'm serious. No, I'm not gay.

A split-second later I realized that I had just gotten upset and disappointed over women's figure skating. Not sure what you call this emotion. I believe the kids these days call it "hella whak," as in, "Hey, Scott Hamilton, did you really just complain about something related to figure skating? That's hella whak."

I'm going home now.