You have no idea how hard I'm laughing right now. My hands are shaking as I type this because the aftershocks of my laugh are causing me to giggle internally.

They just kicked Rudy's annoying ass out of CTU.

FINALLY!!!

FINALLY!!!

Rudy's been losing his mind the last couple of episodes and started pulling the psycho-boss act on CTU if any of his staff members so much as looked at him the wrong way. So Curtis finally steps up to the plate tonight after Rudy says to him, "I order you to take Edgar, Chloe, and Audrey out of CTU -- NOW!."

And Curtis was all, "Nah man. It ain't even like that."

So Rudy was like, "Um, I didn't hear you?"

And Curtis was all, "Oh I think you did, you little hoe. And if you say that again, I'm gonna pull out my GAT and pop a cap in your Toy Soldiers ass."

And then Curtis got crazy judicial and busted section 112 on Rudy, giving police the authority to drag Rudy out of CTU like he was Hadley in "Shawshank Redemption." I think Rudy yelled something really weak and cartoonish as he was leaving the room, too, something like, "You'll never get away with this, Transformers! If it's the last thing I do!" as the rest of CTU chanted "Nah-nah-nah-nah! Nah-nah-nah-nah! Hey hey-ey! Goodbye!"

Couldn't have asked for a better way to end the Rudy era in 24. He went out like a champ, in one of the greatest performances since Will Ferrell in his angry boss skit from SNL -- just real mean and extreme and volatile, seemingly possessed, and constantly threatening people's lives because he feels his employees are getting sloppy.

Too bad he's RUDY, so his tough-guy act is un-freaking-believable.

Anyways, this was a '10' episode, if you ask me. It had everything, including the requisite unintentional comedy, provided by Rudy's over-the-top acting and ignominious yet glorious exit from the show (he's gone, right?); President Logan asking Mike Novick to pray with him; Edgar saying stuff; Aaron the Secret Service agent nearly dying because of a rocket attack, then resurrecting from the dead, and then going John Woo on the terrorists with his sideways pistol-shooting action; and Jack Bauer surviving a bomb blast toward the end of the episode, proving once again that he will never die.

(Note: According to my anonymous and fictitious sources, in the soon-to-be-released "24" video game, Jack Bauer is invincible, just as he is in real life. He doesn't even have a power bar. He's in permanent God mode from the start, so you won't have to use the "up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-B-A-start" code to get infinite lives.)

I have to admit, season 5 of the show has proven me wrong these last few weeks. I thought the death of Michelle Dessler was a crippling mistake, because she was basically the token-hot-chick relief on the show, and with her gone, that meant Audrey Raines would have to move up from her second-string role and become the show's lead token-hot-chick relief. Not good. They've tried to pretty Audrey up by making her a blonde and having her wear a skirt from the Melrose Place costume department, but so far it's been working about as well as you'd expect from a girl whom my friend El has labeled "Brent Barry with long hair." It surprisingly hasn't hurt the show, though, because the action in the last two episodes has been pretty off the hook.

I think as long as Jack continues to break bones and come up with new and interesting renditions of Ezekiel 25:17 before he tortures people -- ex. "When I'm finished with you, you're gonna wish you felt this good again" and "First thing I'm gonna do is take out your right eye, then I'm gonna move over and take out your left. And then I'm gonna cut you and keep cutting into you until you tell me what I want to know" -- I'm there, man.