And the Oscar for Best Debbie Downer Impersonation goes to......

Sean Penn.

You know, it takes a certain kind of person to say something like what Sean Penn said at the Oscars. It's the same kind of person who'll point out the factual errors of a joke after everyone's laughed, or e-mail back "No problem," when you e-mail "Thanks." People like that think they're the greatest thing on earth, when in reality there are about fifty-thousand people who wouldn't hesitate to go Marcellus Wallace on them with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. Needless to say, Sean Penn deserves to serve a lifetime sentence in a Missy Elliott-created Dutch Oven.