In my CD player right now:

The Killers, Hot Fuss
Lauryn Hill, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill
Steven Seagal, Songs from the Crystal Cave

Yes, THAT Steven Seagal.

Seriously.

Click the link and see for yourself (and turn the volume up).

Much to my disappointment, the CD isn't that bad, sort of smooth, like a cross between Eric Clapton, Jack Johnson, and Toad the Wet Sprocket, circa 1992. That's freakin tremendous. You know, because it's music and it's Steven Seagal -- the man who murdered human beings with his bare hands and uttered classic lines such as, "I'm gonna take you to the bank. . . . the blood bank!" -- and it's not god awful. It's actually semi-believable as music.

I mean, don't get me wrong. On my own volition, I'll never listen to the CD ever again, but it's just hilarious that Steven Seagal's music isn't an utter disgrace. For all intents and purposes, it's supposed to suck, just like the Macho Man's music and Don Johnson's music and Paris Hilton's music is supposed to suck. (Although, as you might know if you've ever listened to the Macho Man's CD, he's got mad lyrical ability.) Quite honestly, most of the songs DO suck, if by "suck" you mean "I don't ever want to listen to this again." It's just not as sucky as you'd expect from the man who gave the world "Hard To Kill," "Above the Law," "Marked for Death," "Exit Wounds," and "Out For A Kill."

The CD cover is still pretty funny, though.

(In case you're wondering why in the hell I have Steven Seagal's CD. . . . . yes, it was a gift.)