I'm gonna step out of my 25-year-old skin for a minute and act like a 24-year-old.

There was a horse race this afternoon at Monmouth Park called the Matchmaker Stakes.

The race, for female horses, offered a purse of $150,000 and also awarded stallion seasons to the top three finishers.

In other words, what was at stake in this race, besides the money, was an opportunity to have sex -- or what Ron Burgundy would call "familiar relations" -- with one of the great, robust male horses in the sport.

Furthermore, the name of the female horse who won today's Matchmaker Stakes was "Love Match."

My friends, this is the business I have chosen.