I read a report today that Ronnie Brown may be sidelined for a few weeks after having surgery on his injured hand this weekend. The timing of this, of course, is consistent with the timing of everything else that has happened in my life lately, which is to say that it sucks balls. I'm one game out of the eighth and final playoff spot in my fantasy league, and there are only two weeks left before the seedings are decided. Great time to lose my No. 1 pick. GREAT time.

Only a team managed by me could possibly have something this screwed up happen during such a critical part of the season. You may think that the Lions defense was responsible for injuring Ronnie Brown on Thursday, but you'd be mistaken. I'M responsible. I'M the reason this kind of stuff happens to good, hard-working people like Ronnie Brown. It's because these people are on my fantasy teams, and the fantasy gods take pleasure in batting my fantasy teams around like a cheap toy that talented athletes full of promise get hurt. Ronnie Brown's power meter would be at 100-percent today if he were on someone else's team. Alas, he is on my team, and so he has a broken hand.

To douse Tabasco sauce on the wound, the abundance of injuries on my team this season forced me to exhaust the maximum 20 free-agent acquisitions by Week 9, so I couldn't even pick up Ronnie Brown's back-up, Sammy Morris. In fact, the team I'm playing next week picked Morris up.

Yeah, that's going to be a lot of fun -- getting to watch a player that should be on MY freakin' team, a player that I, by all rights, should be entitled to own, rack up points against me. It'll be like having my opponent grab my arm and use it to punch me in the face, while uttering, "Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?"

I know it's only Sammy Morris, but then again, it's only my fantasy team that he's going to be playing against next week. That's as good as seeing an eagle clutching a serpent in its talons. . . . you know, a sign from Apollo that Sammy Morris will have a great victory. (Didn't you watch "Troy"?) Basically, Sammy Morris is going to go Al Bundy on me -- pencil him in for 4 touchdowns in Week 13.