In the words of Rocky Balboa at the end of Rocky II, other than my kid being born, this is the greatest day in the history of my life.

I don't have a kid, but the NFL season starts today, and I'd imagine that's almost as good.

We're either single and lonely, or married and bored, as Chris Rock says, and with all due respect to you married folk, I'll gladly take single and lonely for the next four months.

--MY GUARANTEE OF THE WEEK--

Rams (-11) vs. Cardinals, at ST. LOUIS

The Cardinals weren't THAT bad last season. Minus their 38-0 loss to Seattle in Week 2, they actually played some good teams really tough at home:

Week 3: 20-13 win over the Packers
Week 6: 26-18 loss to the Ravens
Week 8: 16-13 win over the Niners
Week 9: 17-14 win over the Bengals
Week 12: 30-27 loss to the Rams
Week 15: 20-17 loss to the Panthers
Week 17: 18-17 win over the Vikings

That's a pretty impressive list of performances at home, and with a little luck here or there they might've been able to pull some of those games out.
Problem is, whereas they were a strong team at home, they were a junior high flag football team on the road:

Points For/Points Against
Home: 133/158
Road: 92/281

Taking away that Week 2 loss to Seattle, the Cardinals PF/PA at home was a pretty respectable 133/120, and four of their home opponents made the playoffs (including Seattle, it's five).

Whatever it is about the road, though -- whether it was the travel or the opposing team's crowd or the weather or the food or whatever -- what the Cardinals did away from Arizona last year was a pile of dinosaur crap. Included in their 0-8 road record was a 37-13 loss to the Rams, a 24-7 loss to the Cowboys, a 28-15 loss to the Steelers, a 44-6 loss to the Browns, a 28-3 loss to the Bears, and a 50-14 loss to the Niners.

Bleh.

I know this is a new season, and Dennis Green is supposed to play the role of new sheriff and turn this franchise around. But as the saying goes, a Pinto driven by Richard Petty is still a Pinto. And if the Cardinals are a Pinto, road games for them must be a street with nails.

Rams going away in this one: 31-13.

Watch out for the Cardinals at home, though.

Seriously.