Alright, so how can I describe this? I sorta feel like the Miss USA contestant who gets eliminated in the 1st round, but at the end of the contest, still has to crowd around the winner with the other jealous girls and feign happiness, because even though she has no reason to be happy, it's still a big moment, and in that sense you're sort of obligated to say hooray.

So here you go, Laker fans. My half-assed hooray. Me pretending to be happy for you guys. Me obligated to be happy for you guys. Great game, alright? I'm thrilled. See this fake smile? I was thoroughly entertained. I'm glad I was able to witness one of the great endings in sports history. I'm glad all of your lips ripped at the end of the game because you smiled too big. I'm glad that after Duncan's lucky shot went in I couldn't wait to hear you guys whine the following morning. I'm glad that the anticipation turned to mush when Fisher made his own lucky shot right after, and that shot turned out to be the game-winner. Most of all, I'm glad that God chooses to shine a beam of light on the Lakers only, and the rest of us shmucks are left in the dark with nothing better to do than twiddle our thumbs and hope the #12 draft pick turns out to be the next Charles Shackleford.

I'm jealous, OK? I'm Sonic-green with envy. You guys have every right to celebrate, and all I have to celebrate is the fact that you guys have every right to celebrate. So I'm celebrating your celebration. I'm Kurt Warner celebrating Marc Bulger's success as the new starter. I'm Mark McGwire celebrating Barry Bonds's 71st home run. I'm Brynn celebrating Trishelle hooking up with Steven. I'm the loser of the Showcase Showdown celebrating the loss, while Bob Barker shows the winner everything he's won.

I'm a freaking Sonic fan celebrating a Laker victory, OK?

Whoopy doo!

Hoo-freakin-ray!

When's this season gonna end?